Searching for a soul-maid

May 22, 2008

I have not been very lucky with maids. I fired our maid (the 8th since 2002) on Saturday after I caught her drinking water straight from the jug!

Yes and I am referring to the jug which my family pour our drinking water from! And just like most people, we drink from the glass.

I guess if I had not caught the maid doing that I would have still kept her around, despite having been unhappy with her work, ever since she arrived 2 months ago. But hey, I desperately needed help around the house. So I was willing to lower my expectations in exchange for a less stressful home environment. 

I remember speaking to some of my girlfriends who are mothers themselves. And most of them agreed that after being at work the whole day all we mothers want, is to chill-out. Face it, men aren’t the only creature who yearns for this. And the last thing we want to do is to pick up after the kids, do the laundry or mop the floor. That’s soooo not hot!

I am the kind of mum who prefers to outsource the housework so I can go home and have fun with my kids and my husband (well I do harbour some hopes). 

Just a few weeks ago, my husband read a survey, which said that married people with kids tend to be unhappier compared to their single friends who don’t have children. I can relate to that. Raising children aren’t easy if you do not have the extra help. I am talking about my own experience at least. I also feel that having one child is so much easier than having two (I can’t imagine having more, at this point). Balancing a career and a family is even harder.

Being a mother of two, I have been in situations where I feel at least one area of my life have had to give. At this point it’s my fitness. I feel guilty taking time off to do things like working out after being out all day working. 

My husband disputed this. Even though he clocks in long hours and do outstation work on weekly basis, well almost, he still finds time for the gym.

I on the other hand would feel guilty leaving the kids at the baby sitter for the extra hours. But at the same time when I don’t get to do what I want, and my husband does, I hold grudges against him. 

I mean why should he gets to do as he pleases and seems to feel free doing it? Yet whenever I do the same it’s never without guilt pricking me. 

I was at a the hair salon the other day when I read about Jada Pinkett Smith’s take on motherhood. She said something along this line: Women should not have to give up what they want. A fulfilled woman is a better mother.

Frankly I do not know of any woman who thinks she has done enough for her children. Or one who doesn’t want to a be a better mother. But in the process of getting there, I will need extra help to fill in the gap. There is no way I can do it on my own. And I am sure neither could Mrs Smith. I have come to term that it is okay to need help even if it means having to part with my money.

I hope that I will one day find that special and reliable someone. A soul-maid who can help me clean my house and baby-sit once in a while so I too can workout or have a night out. All in the hope that I too will be fulfilled and become a better mother someday:)


One Response to “Searching for a soul-maid”

  1. Muid Latif Says:

    My maid don’t even dare to eat with us, she always eat in her room and she’s very rajin and stuborn. I never see her drink at all, all I can know when my mum ask to look for her, she’s in the room praying or arranging all the clothes for us.

    But seriously, it’s gross to caught your maid drinking on a jug. How’s your mac? 🙂

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