It’s the hard-wiring

November 17, 2009

I am blessed with two children whose personalities are at two opposite extreme. My daughter, Ishra, is very girlie. She loves pink, Barbie and rhythmic gymnastic. My son, Aditya, on the other hand likes to play in the mud, enjoys trailing creepy-crawlies and gets easily impressed with anything that moves at breakneck speed.

Playing with her 3-year-old brother used to be a challenge for my daughter who is now 7. My son would pull her hair, grabbed the toys he wanted away from her and even kicked her if he didn’t get what he wanted. At one time, I  found dealing with his violent behaviour very frustrating.

It took a while for me to realise that my kids are two different people with two completely different personalities. Recently, in my efforts to try to understand these differences I came across The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine M.D. I learned so much about the female brain from the book (and a bit about the male’s hard-wiring). I immediately connect with the book which provides me insights into some of the events I experienced with my kids.

One of them happened when my daughter was about two-and-a-half year old. My husband bought her a toy car when he was abroad for work. Then one fine night, we caught her wrapping the car in a blanket. The next minute she tugged it into bed and started singing a lullaby.

Taking my daughter to a sit-down dinner was never a problem from the time she was a baby. In fact we never had to change much of our lifestyle after she was born. If she did something she wasn’t supposed to, all I needed to do was glare or stare disapprovingly at her and she would stop.

In The Female Brain, Dr Brizendine explained that girls “are born interested in emotional expression.” It’s their hard-wiring! They understand cues and would constantly look for approval.

Taking my son to at restaurant however was a challenge right from the start. To begin with, he does not sit still. His curiousity always gets the best of him and he would touch anything he lays his eyes on. And, it doesn’t help that he is oblivious to my display of emotion, or my vocal tones!

Through my reading I have learned to accept and celebrate my children and their differences. Nowadays, I am also more aware of how different their approaches are towards the same tasks. This has allowed me to understand and enjoy them  more. I still face challenges every now and then, but at least I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore.

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2 Responses to “It’s the hard-wiring”

  1. Reulnencego Says:

    Excuse me for being OT – what Word Press theme do you use? It’s looking great!!


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